


Lift Above Ourselves

by Zarfe



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:29:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zarfe/pseuds/Zarfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Established BDSM relationship between Tom Pyatt and Adam Hall based on RP scenarios. Written for Hall's sudden departure from the Lightning.</p><p>Tom tries to show Adam that just because he can't be there for him daily and in the way he had been for a year doesn't mean that they're over with.</p><p>Just a short one shot on how they come to terms with a change in their relationship and their established dynamics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lift Above Ourselves

Tom was in the shower at the rink when the text came through. Adam had stayed home since he was on waivers. Waivers meant minimal team contact in sorts. Basically Tampa didn't want him there, but in Syracuse, and until he passed, or was picked up by another team, he would be without a rink to call home. Injuries didn't need to come in to play as well when in such a limbo state, so he was given a strict day off; time to pack his bags.

Yzerman and Boucher both repeatedly told him that it was nothing but a conditioning stint. It was no secret that Adam hadn't been playing in his top form, but Tom quickly quelled the fear that it was their life style that put him in that predicament. Adam could still win face offs, still hit, still did physically and mentally demanding tasks in hockey-- it was something else that had nothing to do with Tom's experienced use of paddles. A slump year, more than likely. He had been worried the previous night and though they had a game the next day, Tom had taken Adam to bed and worked the stress from him. Adam had slept soundly after, yet Tom's mind kept him awake for most of the night.

They hadn't been away from each other for much more than a week during their relationship. Over the summer Adam had accompanied Tom everywhere, and it was only during the lock out that they split for some time with their families. It hadn't been a fun week, but both men survived and Tom was intent on making sure that they survived again. Sure it was a big distance, but Tom considered Adam well worth the extra work. He could find new ways to quell Adam's cravings and ever rushing mind. Plus, as Tom had told Adam on more than one occasion that night, it was only a temporary thing. Soon he would be back in Tampa and in Tom's bed.

Heartbreak wasn't something familiar to Tom, yearning even less so, but he felt it when he looked at Adam's locker that had been packed and nameplate changed. Dana was a good guy and any time he was in Tampa he had always wowed the crowd. That was what they needed, a goal scorer, and a little trip would work well for both Adam and the team. Tom was sure of it.

He worked the towel over his hair as he got back to his stall, sitting a little more heavily than his control usually let him. If he didn't have a game that night he would just sleep, wrap around Adam until the call came that he passed waivers and that he would be on a flight in the morning up to New York. Instead he had to eat, to prepare, and watch Adam suffer as their routine was altered. A year's worth of day-ins and day-outs remodeled in a single evening.

"I need you," read Tom's screen when he opened the text. Adam didn't usually send things like that. Tom often left his phone unguarded and in the open, spots for any prying teammate to snoop. Sure, the team knew that they had some sort of friendly bond, but a statement such as "I need you" didn't usually fly under the radar. 

Red flags went up and Tom hurried to dress. There was normally a routine to dressing, much like all things in Tom's life. It wasn't that he had OCD or any sort of need to be orderly, but it just always felt better to do things in a controlled series of steps.. He had no problem deviating when something came up, but normal every day was supposed to go A to B. That day, and even the previous one, had managed to be anything but normal.

"Tom," Marty started and Tom waved him off. It wasn't time for small talk, it was time to get himself home to his Adam and his Adam's problems. Just a panic attack, Tom tried to tell himself. Adam was just nervous and needed him to quell it. It was not something he did on game days, the beatings, but Adam was more precious to him than how his hands felt later when he was holding a stick rather than a paddle. He texted as he walked, keys hanging off of his pinky, ready to be jammed into the ignition.

"On my way," he sent, speed in his step. He wasn't running or even jogging, no need to make it look like anything more than a hungry hockey player. Rumors were not something that he or Adam needed, and that was part of the reason that during the season Tom took it easy on Adam during scenes. If he went hurrying from the rink and something had happened, he was sure fans would manage to put two and two together. He slid into his car and started it, hand flailing for the door as his other one worked the buckle into the snap. Usually he would spare some time to sign some autographs while the AC worked on, but that day he felt like he didn't have a moment to lose. The fans would have to live with a half-hearted flick of the wrist, mind too preoccupied with Adam.

Half way home, Tom realized he had no idea where Adam was. There was an equal chance that he would be at his apartment as there was he'd be at Tom's house. He was probably packing, probably had reality set in after Tom beat it away the night before. Reality, Tom scoffed. Such an awful horrible thing that didn't just stay the fuck away when it wasn't wanted. Tom reached awkwardly into his pocket, getting out his phone. He activated the voice command before he sent a text off to Adam.

"Where are you?"

"Home," came back only seconds later and Tom knew what that meant. After the first month Adam had stopped referring to his apartment as his home. It merely became "the apartment". Tom's house was home or, possibly more correctly, where Tom was became home and his property was just an extension of that. The curtness of the reply made Tom chance some yellow lights and only half pause at stop signs. The cops would just have to understand, much like the fans. He had a distraught lover to get back to and had no time for anything more than the bare essential safety.

Tom's car was hardly in park before it was off and Tom was out. He trusted the door to be unlocked and it was as he walked in. Adam didn't need anyone else losing their mind so Tom took a second to school himself before he called out. It hadn't been necessary, though, because just as he did Adam entered the kitchen on his hands and knees, naked save for his collar that was worn at all times when not engaged in the other part of their lives. What was usually a pleasing and sexy event was soiled heavily by the way the rest of Adam looked.

Adam's face was red, tear streaked but it wasn't the normal look Adam sometimes wore. Tom had gotten him there before, beat him to the point he was emotionally and physically spent. He had denied Adam orgasm for hours until he was hard and desperate, crying with frustration and need, but it didn't fit into any of those scenarios. This was distress and sadness, an ugly look really.

"I'm so sorry, sir!" Adam croaked out in sobs and in an instant Tom was on his knees in front of him. Adam had sat back on his legs and Tom remained upright to get the height he needed to keep himself situationally stronger than Adam. It was what he needed, Tom could tell. He needed someone strong to fight off whatever scared him, whatever drove him to the state he was in. Tom couldn't be eye to eye with Adam and give him the attention he needed, a dynamic of their relationship that had just seemed to work well for Adam in the past.

"What, pet? What's wrong?" It took Adam several seconds that seemed to border on minutes to find his voice. He wrapped his hands in Tom's shirt, hugged him tight and didn't let go as he buried his face into Tom's dress shirt and shook in his arms. Tom softly petted him and felt his own pulse quicken. Something wasn't right and Adam was hesitant to tell him. That clued Tom into the fact that it wasn't just a panic attack, that it was something worse. He bowed in, peppered Adam's temple with kisses as he stroked his back and hair, trying to calm him. He needed an answer so he knew how to handle the situation. No, he would have no idea how to handle the situation, but knowing the cause of Adam's distress was still better than snatching at straws. Yet, he knew that he already was aware of what had happened: Adam wouldn't be going to Syracuse.

"Adam, pet, you have to tell me what's wrong. C'mon, no crying now pet." Tom helped Adam separate from him gently. It wasn't far but it was enough that Adam wouldn't be buried against him. Tom took his cheeks, tilting Adam's face up toward his. It wasn't usual that Tom would force Adam to look at him. Usually he let Adam submit and glance away, keep his eyes down and face up, but he wanted Adam's attention, he wanted to read him. He wanted to know where and why. Adam's breathy sobs paused for just a moment before he broke into a fresh wave of tears and Tom's thumbs had no hope of keeping up with them to brush them away. Still he tried his best.

"I-if only I was better! I-if I was better then they never would have w-wanted to send me down!" Adam wailed, hands tight in the front of Tom's shirt, holding on desperately. "I-if only I was worse then t-they.. they wouldn't want me!" That was enough to solidify Tom's fear and it settled hard and heavy in his stomach. Adam was no longer in the Lightning organization. Someone had picked him up on waivers. Tom saw red but knew that wasn't fair. Adam was good, he was, and any team would love to have him. It was a chance that the Lightning were willing to take. Tom, not so much, but his word was nothing. suddenly he remembered the cool authoritative way Marty had said his name. He hadn't wanted to just chat, he was going to break the news to Tom.

"Pet, you're perfect. None of that. They took a big chance putting you on waivers and we both knew that. C'mon, where are you going?" Tom tried to be the rock that Adam needed. He tried to school all his fear and anxiety, his rage. Adam needed calm words, not a distressed master. Anyone else would have called their parents, but Adam had called him. He knew what that meant. He knew what he needed to do.

"Carolina," Adam said after a moment, eyes finding their way down. Tom froze. He literally stopped. His grip slackened enough that Adam could worm his way out and rebury his face in Tom's shirt. He hugged him tight again, desperate, and Tom hugged him back with equal strength when he got his wits about him again. Carolina. The team they were playing that night. There was no God.

"I..." Tom started, but he had nothing. It was a division rival, one that shouldn't have Adam's skills in any way. Still, the Lightning had taken a chance and it bit them harder than Tom thought it ever would. It hit home even worse when Tom realized that Adam wouldn't be a division rival the following year. After that season they would be close but far away as Tampa became one with the Northeastern United States and Canada. An eight hour drive but only seen twice a season. He froze again, the anger spiking, before he lowered his head and rested it against the top of Adam's, kissing him softly on his hair.

"When do you start?" He asked softly and he felt Adam lock up under him.

"Tonight," he barked, not a usual tone for Adam, but Tom would forgive it because that was exactly the feeling he had to the answer. Tonight? Against them? Most certainly no God at all. "Not only am I not a Bolt but... but I have to play tonight against you! I... I can't, sir! I can't do it!" Adam's begging clicked something in Tom that knocked him out of his own fears. No, he wasn't going to leave his pet stranded in his sea of confusion and fear. Tom squeezed him tighter and pulled away. He stood and held his hand down to Adam, palm open and up. Adam looked at him with watery and red eyes. He had been afraid that Tom separating them meant that he didn't want Adam any more, but his open hand meant more than just a helpful hand. Slowly he took the hand and helped himself up. Tom lead him without words to the spare bedroom where he laid Adam down and climbed on top. Gently he took Adam's wrists and held them against the bed, one in each hand. It was familiar and dominant, it was reminding Adam who owned him and it was reminding Tom that he was an owner. Slowly he leaned down and kissed Adam.

It wasn't a gentle kiss, hot and demanding that ended with Adam breathless and Tom's teeth working into his bottom lip. Adam gasped for air, nose stuffed from his crying, and Tom just let him breathe as he worked down Adam's chin and neck. When he pulled back and looked over Adam, he was done crying and instead had his eyes crushed shut and an erratic hitch to his breath. Tom kissed him again but it was much more gentle.

"I'm going to fuck you, pet. I'm going to make you relax and then we're going to talk about this." Tom had a strict no sex before a game policy, but like with all of his other rules, that had been thrown out the window. He needed to relax Adam so they could rationally work out what they were going to do. Tom had sworn up and down that if such a trade ever happened it wouldn't effect them, and he was sure he intended on following through with that, but he needed to show Adam that as well. It took a few seconds for Adam to nod. It wasn't an okay, it wasn't that he was giving Tom the go ahead, he was just telling himself that it was the right course of action. Tom knew what was needed and he would go along with it, regardless of how unsexy he felt at that moment. Tom kissed him again and climbed off.

The usual strategic disrobing was forgone for the sake of urgency. Tom shucked his suit jacket and untucked his dress shirt before working the buttons open. Adam moved on the bed, not alluringly like he occasionally did, but awkwardly and unsurely. He knew his place in the house, he knew his place under Tom, but with no longer being a Lightning, he had no idea what that left him with. He would be a homeless pet, no master to curl in bed with at night, nothing to come home to. Tom stopped with his shirt half undone to reach for Adam. He took ahold of him gently and turned his face so he was looking at him.

"Relax, pet. I'm going to take care of you." Adam swallowed and let his eyes slip shut, turning to nuzzle into the hand. Tom was his master and wouldn't let anything happen to him. Slowly he exhaled, letting out his frustration and anxiety. He knew he could do it. He could make it through the trade and however long it took him to make his way back to Tom. Sensing the slow release, Tom let his fingers travel down to Adam's chest, nimble fingers pinching on his nipple as he rolled and rubbed it. Adam's body knew those signs and it helped him turn his brain off, get lost in what Tom was promising him. He would make him feel good and relaxed. He would make things right as far as he could.

"How about you get yourself ready for me?" Tom asked softly, shifting and opening a drawer in the bedside table to produce a bottle of lube. He didn't stutter even slightly in the soft yet teasing ministrations he was preforming on Adam's nipple and that lay testament to his personal strength. Tom's mind wasn't on sex or even on just the bare essential touching he was doing to Adam, but on what they, as a couple, were going to do. Still he recognized the role sex played in their relationship and, more pressingly, how it worked into Adam's vision of self worth.

Tom didn't usually let Adam prep himself, rather liking that job for himself, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to do it for Adam with the hours separating them. He would have to retrain Adam to take as much gratification and pleasure from his own hands and ministrations (with Tom's dominant leading of course) as he would from Tom himself. Moving slightly sluggishly Adam clicked the cap open and lubed two fingers. Tom had done a very thorough job on him the night before and it was evident all over Adam's body. The welts had yet to fade and his hole hadn't tightened closed again to the point it would have the next morning. Two fingers wasn't a lot and slid in easily enough with Adam pulling his knees to his chest and a bit of work. He made sure to lube himself inside and around his sphincter, knowing that Tom would want to just slide into him. Tom allowed himself to admire Adam working himself, saving it to memory so he could return to it when Adam was no longer a physical presence in his life.

Before long Tom was naked and Adam was more than ready to be filled. Tom, though, was never one to just jump in, but to take his time. Sure, when he decided to fill Adam he would want to do it in one slick motion, but until then he could remind himself of every thing that Adam did. He left his clothes piled on the floor as he climbed onto the bed. He took ahold of Adam's wrist, pulling his hand away and fingers out so he could stretch both of Adam's arms high over his head. Adam went willingly and it was obvious that the stress bled out of his form when Tom shifted and settled between Adam's legs, his knees fitting comfortably over Tom's shoulders. With one hand Tom pinned both of Adam's wrists, the other reaching for the lube.

He worked with little trouble as he poured the slick into his free hand, discarding the bottle half-hazardly. Tom realized that after that day he would have a lot of free time to do the laundry if it was needed. He wouldn't mess the sheets up daily. With a little more shifting, Tom pressed his thighs to Adam's ass, arranging his dick so it lay on top of Adam's. He gathered both of them up in his lubed hand, fingers and palms curled wide to hold both at once. He made sure to keep Adam's wrists in his other hand as he began to stroke both shafts. Neither of them were hard, minds unwilling to let them focus singularly on the sex, but Tom was bent on getting them there. Adam needed it and he wasn't entirely convinced that he didn't need it also.

After a few minutes of working both of their lengths, of adding more lube and stroking both heads together, both men were mostly hard and Adam was quaking with jolts of pleasure. Tom had watched him the whole time, listened as Adam made soft noises that mingled with the sound of his hand moving wet and slow over them. He didn't want to look away, didn't want to interrupt what he knew he needed to hold onto and remember. He didn't know the next time he would be able to hold Adam down like that, to work him over and just enjoy his pet. His.

Eventually he had to stop, Adam writhing a little too much to just be the jolts of pleasure anymore. He whined slightly when Tom stopped but it bit off in his throat, knowing what would come next. Tom took that moment to lean in and kiss Adam again, deep and passionately. He tasted him, licked over his tongue and teeth, breathed in the scent of Adam. He needed it and so did Adam. Slowly he dragged his hand down Adam's arms, releasing his hold on the older man's wrists. He slid it to his collar bone and then to Adam's neck, taking ahold of his jaw and putting just a small amount of pressure. Adam looked at him with a slight haziness in his vision that Tom knew was arousal, but he still looked, all his attention on Tom. He kissed him again softly before he spoke.

"I'm not going to fuck you hard, Adam. It's not going to hurt, but I will fuck you like I mean it, because I do. I do mean it every time I lay you down, or touch you, or even look at you. I mean it every single day, and I know you know that, but what I want you to know now is that I'm going to mean it every single day regardless of how far you are. Carolina or San Jose, it doesn't matter, because ever single day I'm going to mean this, and us. Do you understand?" Tom didn't ever say such things. They were unspoken truths about their relationship, but yet they were things that at that moment both men needed. They were a connection and an answer that both men needed to take stock in. Distance wouldn't matter so long as they kept that connection. Tom had collared Adam and Adam had knelt for him in much more than just a submissive way. Adam getting snatched off waivers wasn't going to change that.

"I understand, sir," Adam said softly, not looking away, not even hesitating. "You're my world, sir, and I wont ever forget." Tom smiled slowly, a laugh burbling just softly. Adam had never been great with words and that was obvious, but it did warm him exponentially. Nothing would change minus Adam's address.They would just figure out the rest.

"My beautiful pet," Tom whispered, kissing his way from Adam's forehead to his lips once more as he shifted and lubed himself a little more. It wasn't anything less than practiced movements after that for Tom to slink down slightly and rock into Adam with just a little guidance and pressure from his own hand. He shifted again and moved forward so he could slip entirely into Adam, pausing for just a moment when he fit his whole length in. Adam groaned but it was nothing but pleasure, back arching slightly as his toes curled behind Tom's back. 

They had had sex the night before, had a long and intense scene that Adam had asked for. He wanted to feel the welts the entire way to Syracuse, and Tom had obliged. The first few solid connections of their hips reminded Adam of that, made him dread playing that night. Almost as if he was reading his mind (or at least the pained yet aroused jerks of Adam's body), Tom leaned down to his ear.

"You're going to ache tonight, but I know you're still going to play well. I know you're going to be tough, even dressed against us, and I'm going to be so proud of you when you do." Adam groaned softly, eyes clenching shut as he just felt and heard Tom, let himself be carried away by his master. It wasn't difficult by any standards for Adam to fall into sub space. He had had a lot of practice and even in a situation where he didn't have the bitting and the stinging pain to drive him further, harder and deeper, he could still find it and curl into it. He knew what his master liked, what he wanted, and Adam could grant it without any whips or chains. All he had to do was remember who he was under and why.

Tom shifted again and Adam was surprised to find out that he had moved his hands from above his head to around Tom's back. He had been holding on to his Master, a treat rarely given and even more rarely acted on by Adam. He learned that Tom's arousal came from domination, both physically and mentally, so even in those brief times Adam wasn't chained or tied down he never really held on to Tom. That day was proving to be very different as he couldn't actually allow himself to let go of Tom at all. He never wanted to let go of him for fear that he would lose it all. The next time he would actually be allowed to hold onto him was still undecided and far in the future.

Tom's hands made their way to Adam's shoulders, not disengaging the hold he had, not even holding Adam down, just perching there so he could move down and place his mouth over the nipple that had been pinched and twisted earlier. He lapped at it, sucked and lightly ran his teeth around the sensitive flesh. Adam moaned, unbridled and deep. Tom knew all of his spots, knew how to use them fully, to make Adam's body sing with whatever he wanted it to. That day it was pleasure, and Adam would take it. He had enough hurt for the year with how hard his heart yearned for the trade to not be true.

The thrusts alternated between hard and soft, each thrust not leaving anything to be desired, but they all had one thing in common which was that it made Adam feel complete and loved. His previous anxieties were put to rest in just the notion, or more so the truth, that Tom wouldn't just let him go. True, physically Adam was being displaced from his home in Tom's arms, but he would still be in his heart, regardless of how cliche and chicky that had sounded, even to him as he was being fucked into.

"Out of your head, pet," Tom whispered, having slunk back up while Adam was in thought. His whole body spoke of pleasure, testament to Tom. His nipples were hard and so was his dick, curled and wet against his stomach. Tom's hand still had some slick on it as he reached between them and took ahold of his cock. He thrust a few times hard and deep before he started to stroke Adam in time. Down was an in thrust, up as Tom pulled out. It worked for Adam like it always did and he clenched around Tom with every thrust.

"Before me, pet," Tom told him, slightly breathy, the most out of control Tom ever let himself become. Emotions were high as Adam nodded, whispering out a litany of "thank you, sir"s. It would be over too soon, but Adam knew he wouldn't be able to hold on as it was. He needed it, the release and the consequential filling of Tom's release. He ached for it and though he wished they could stay like that forever, locked together, moaning softly, he also yearned for that moment.

It didn't take long for Tom's skilled hands to get Adam on the edge and then over it. He locked down, back arched, and cried out as he came in ribbons that fell across his stomach and Tom's tight fist. It wasn't much longer after that when Tom's own rhythm began to dissolve and his thrusts turned faster and deeper. Adam could feel Tom's orgasm like he always could, and wished he were younger. It was a common enough wish, a desire to get hard again when he felt his master come inside of him, but the truth was that he continued to get older and not younger-- continued to be done after one orgasm without sufficient time to recharge. Tom never seemed to mind, but it was always a limitation Adam wished to be free of.

Tom's lips on his own startled Adam out of his mind. His eyes opened, but a moment later they were closed again and Adam was moaning into Tom's mouth. His hands found their way to Tom's hair where they wrapped into the short strands and just held on. Tom didn't seem to mind as he rocked a few shallow thrusts into Adam. Just before it became uncomfortable Tom pulled out and Adam groaned softly. He didn't want to be empty but he knew that it was time. The kiss didn't break, through, as Tom moved, helping Adam's legs down from his shoulders. It was only after they were both disentangled from each other that Tom reached up to slide one of Adam's hands from his hair. He kept it in his hand, however. Tom broke the kiss so he could lean down and press his lips to each knuckle of Adam's hand. Adam watched with rapt fascination as Tom seemed to worship him the way Adam had done on many more than one occasion to his master. When Tom was done with the one hand he grabbed the other from his hair and repeated the process. When he was finished, Tom looked up at Adam who could only stare back dumbly. His heart thrummed fast in his chest, but he couldn't break himself from his reverie. It continued even through Tom's words.

"I collared you, pet, because I love you. Because I want you by me always, but I also knew there was a chance something like this would happen. I knew and so did you, but I also promised to take care of you, and I'm going to. It can't be like this any more, but I will try to give you something to take it's place for when we're separate, but I want you to know that if I had my way, we would still be like this every day. Do you understand?" Adam just looked at Tom for several long moments before he felt the emotion surge in him again. As if it took control of his body, Adam arched forward and kissed Tom, hands tightening around the younger man's.

"I don't want to go," he said meekly, but he knew the answer before Tom said anything. He had to go, but that wasn't all for them. They would make it work some how. Adam knew Tom would rather die than let it fall apart, and Adam felt the same. They were still 'them' and it didn't matter how far away. Carolina wasn't that far, all things considered. After the kiss and some more reassuring words, Tom edged Adam back onto the bed and pet his clean hand through the older man's hair.

"I'm going to go get a wash cloth. I'm going to clean us up and then we're going to take a nap. When we get up we'll have some dinner and then go to the rink. You'll suit up as a Hurricane and you'll do great." Adam let himself slowly smile and accept another soft kiss from Tom as he slunk back onto the bed and relaxed. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't optimal, but Adam knew then that he would always have a proper home to come back to. He would have Tom to come back to, regardless of where that was.


End file.
